Introduction
As Christ is the foundation for every successful life, so is communication a basic ingredient for every successful relationship. With a good reciprocal and effective communication, your leadership role would evolve in a positive direction. It is important to understand the fundamentals of communication so as to apply them in your relationship with others.
Through the process of communication, you share your needs and discover what others need. Such sharing builds a bridge between leaders and followers – a bridge that fosters stronger relationships.
Communication is the art of passing across information, vision, thought, desire, feeling to somebody else. It is a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, speaking, writing, signs or behavior known as non- verbal communication. It also includes connectedness, the ability to share, exchange, pass on information, from one person to another. To achieve unity, avoid misunderstanding. It is important to communicate effectively. Effective communication is the mutual exchange of ideas, thoughts, attitudes, information and feelings. It is a prerequisite for the expression and sustenance of sound understanding of others. Issues, challenges or conflicts in relationships are easily resolved through effective communication, speaking objectively and listening attentively are both vital in the communication that makes relationships successful. Communication should be timed, it should be simple, clear and direct. It is one of the major foundation pillars in relationship, a fundamental part of human life and a significant thing that differentiates us from the animals. Anyone who genuinely communicates with God will easily communicate with others. Communication is what sparks off sharing, caring, and affirmation. It is important to understand and utilize properly the principles of communication. Intelligent and effective communication is a two-way process. So, study those you relate with and know how to communicate with them.
Understanding leadership and communication.
“Leadership is mobilizing others towards a goal shared by the leader and followers”.
There are four key attributes we need to examine:
- A leader mobilizes people
- A leader is focused
- A leader works with people
- A leader has willing followers
The leadership of Nehemiah
Let us examine the leadership of Nehemiah:
- He knew how to organize a project. Neh 3: 1-32. He enlisted all classes of people for different tasks.
- He was goal orientated and focused. Neh 5:16; 6:3. He could not be side tracked from his major objective of rebuilding the walls.
- He invested much time in thinking and planning ahead i.e., facts before decisions.
- He knew how to delegate responsibilities; he handled the work in manageable tasks and assigned responsibilities. He was definitely not a one man show but knew how to delegate and collaborate with others to get the job done.
- He gave incentives, He knew the value of teamwork and synergy. Neh 2: 7-18; 12:31,3:1;4:6.
- He was concerned about daily events 1:1-3. He showed care for the plight of his people and asked questions about the destruction of Jerusalem.
- He demonstrated a Godly character 1:4; 2:12. In crisis, he fasted and prayed for his people. He allowed a time of solitude for God to give him clear direction.
- He was balanced; 2:4-6; 4:9. He exercised faith in God but also realized his personal responsibility to make plans. He exemplified sacrificial service for a cause servant leadership.
- He was prepared to give up a good position because greater work had to be done.
- He was proactive 2:11; 7: 1-4. He waited on no one. Once he, received the vision, he evaluated and took initiative to mobilize the forces to rebuild the walls.
- He was a motivator of people 2:3; 2:17-18; 3:28; 4:14. He used courtesy, good preparation incentives and appealed to the deepest needs of others to move them to action.
- He handled conflicts 5:1-19; he dealt with discouragement within his ranks by getting them unified, focused and mobilized.
- He had integrity 5:10; 14-19. He was against any form of extortion and believed in clean dealings. He refused to exploit the privileges he had.
- He had courage 7:64, 13:8. He was willing to make tough decisions.
- He had a giving spirit 5:10. He denied himself the right to interest.
- He promoted purity 13:15. He has proven his purity from others. He did all through effective communication.
The importance of effective communication.
The importance of effective communication skill is the basic foundation of sustenance, functional and successful relationship. Communication on the other hand, is an important key to resolving problems and overcoming challenges in relationship. However, there must also be commitment. Without commitment, communication bears no fruit, and without communication, relationship withers and dies. The quality oi any relationship is dependent on effective communication. For effective communication to be operational in any relationship, you must understand those you work with. It is within the context of an effective communication that you can create the best result in relationship.
Most of us think of “communication” as a one-way process; so, we concentrate on what we want to say, how t say it and how to pass it on to others. But in our zeal to achieve our goals and get the messages across to others, we forget that at the other end of our message spectrum is “another” someone with a goal, zeal, interest and concern to pass on to us. Effective communication strengthens relationship by assisting to form positive bond in the cause of daily interactions. Learning to communicate effectively can also prevent misunderstandings. It unites every knot that births bitterness in relationship. It is not always easy to determine the thoughts of others so it is necessary to tell others what we want, think or feel. It is important to be specific in communication. It is good to listen carefully, ask questions to show that you are genuinely interested in the subject on hand. You will be amazed at the reactions of others when you are an effective communicator and a good listener. Effective communication helps to avoid misconceptions. It initiates team discussions and helps to resolve issues amicably.
Factors Necessary for Effective Communication.
It takes certain skills to be an effective communicator. However, communication skills have to be developed gradually. The greater your awareness of how they work, the more effective your communication abilities would be.
These factors include:
- a) Openness:
This is all about being transparent which ultimately brings growth to relationship. It removes restrictions that may limit the free flow of communication. With openness in communication, you will rid yourself of closely held secrets that could harm relationship. Openness builds trust and trust is the foundation for effective communication. Therefore, be truthful in your communication, avoid exaggerations.
- b) Understanding:
When understanding accompanies communication, positive results and changes occur. Understand the other person’s point of view to be able to adjust your own. Understanding is a virtue God can impart on you, if you desire it. “Yea, if you cries after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; if thou sleekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures” Prov 2:3-4. Understanding as a factor enhances effective communication. It is important to study people in order to understand them. It includes the ability to read in between the lines, the capacity to accurately read the lips, movement of the eyes, interpret and understand gestures and voice tones. “In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found” Prov 10:13. Remember that communication is effective when “What is said is what is meant and what is meant is what is understood and what is understood is what is done and what is done is the required action”.
- c) Trust:
Trust is a vital component of effective communication. Trust means to have confidence, faith and assurance in relationship. Trust is a responsibility given to one or a duty expected to be discharged. To be trusted, you must be trustworthy. Fat effective communication to occur there must be a measure of trust between you and another. Trust is the ingredient that makes you confidently believe in people. “But let your communication be Yea, Yea; Nay, Nay; for whatever is more than these cometh of evil. Matt5:7”
- d) Wisdom:
Wisdom is the ability to make sensible decisions and judgment based on personal knowledge or experience. It is the good sense shown in one’s way of thought, speech, action or judgment. Wisdom turns out to be detrimental if overlooked. It works well with understanding and knowledge.
- e) Tolerance:
Tolerance is the ability to accept differing views from other people to exhibit fairness towards them and what they want to say. It is also the act of enduring something irritating or unpleasant. Tolerance is a fruit that is inevitable in life. How willing are we to receive divergent views and opinion of others without attempting to suppress them: “Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory…. if we endure, we shall also reign with him” 2 Tim 2:10,12.
- f) Firmness:
Firmness as a virtue is the ability to be fixed, secure and unwavering in what you do or say. It makes you properly formed, reliable, trustworthy and steady without fluctuations. Being unstable negatively affects communication in relationship. A firm person “Will have no fear of bad news, her heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord” Ps. 112:7.
- g) Gentleness:
Gentleness is strength under control. It involves kind naturalness and good manners. It has. the character of being moderate in degree so that the effects of its action are not severe, detrimental or counter-productive. It is an attitude that implies graciously lowering oneself to the level of people less important or intelligent in order to convey a message. It is also being kind and humble. “Your speech should always be pleasant and interesting and you should how to give the right answer to everyone”. Col 4:6.
- h) Balance:
In communication, great care should be taken to balance the poles in order not to hurt others. Balance is a state of mental stability in which a person is calm and able to make rational decision and judgments. When balance exists, compromise between two extremes is harmoniously reached.
- i) Respect: “Show proper respect to everyone” 1 Pet 2:17. Effective communication must be devoid of sarcasm, ridicules, judgmental statements, false accusations and degrading situations. Communication is considered effective when it is qualitative, respectful and avoids disrespect of any form
- j) Honesty: Honesty is a vital ingredient for the pre valence of effective communication in relationship. It requires that you give out every information necessary with sincerity without hurting feelings. Be tactful and positive. “Speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly and so become more and more in every way like Christ” Eph4:15.
Factors that destroy Effective Communication.
Rudeness: “Show proper respect to everyone” 1 Pet 2:17a. Being rude is to be ill mannered, disagreeable, discourteous in manner or offending action to accepted standards of decency. Always make your point with precision, love and understanding.
Sarcasm (cutting words): sarcasms are remarks or words that mean the opposite of what they seem to say and are intended to upset or ridicule. They inflict injuries on the hearer. The scriptures call it evil speaking, such must be avoided in relationship, “let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away
from you, with all malice….”Eph4:31.
Talking sarcastically will suffocate any relationship and make true communication impossible. When you replace sarcasm with optimism, compliments and expression of sincerity communication will be more effective.
Defensiveness: defensiveness is a wall that pushes others away from realities and naturally blocks effective communication. It means being quick to justify an action. It is always better to admit our wrongs, this will strengthen effective communication. James 5:16a says “Admit your faults to one another”. Proverbs 28:3 “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance.”
Anger: anger is a great hindrance to effective communication. Anger destroys relationship and it should be avoided. When a leader is able to manage anger, communication flows freely.
CONCLUSION
It is important to know that “the art of effective communication is the language of leadership” -James Humes.
Communication is an outward manifestation of our thoughts, our intentions and our conclusion about the people around us “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks”.
We must remember that every communication opportunity must be filled with messages that build trust, convey gratitude and add value to the recipients. We must not criticize, condemn or talk evil of others where we are wrong, rather we admit it. All these will remind us to consider the needs of others and assist our communication efforts. They make us to be a kinder, humbler leader. They assist and challenge us as leaders to express greater respect, empathy and grace as we communicate effectively with others. We also gain enduring friendships, trustworthy-relationships and lasting leadership.
By Pastor (Mrs.) M.R.A Adeleke
